thoughts

Someone commented on my fruit salad here http://www.flickr.com/photos/99724780@N00/367565316/
That makes me so happy...

One of my old pictures with a point & shoot Cannon.

A Beam of Green, originally uploaded by Verudela.

My friend gave me a free tripod yesterday and today I received a laminated cheat sheet for my Nikon D70. It's really cool.

The whole day today at work I kept on thinking about my camera and the new lens. I'm so psyched over this whole photography thing, but I'm scared it's just temporary and like everything in my life it will pass and I'll eventually get bored with it.

It's sad, because I'm putting so much money into it, and I don't want to be bored with it a few months from now. I wish one day I'll find something interesting to do with my life that I won't give up so easily. I want to do something I really really love one day, and when I wake up in the morning it's the first thing on my mind and I can't wait to start doing it.

For a while I had this feeling with my jewelry business. It lasted for about a year and when I started being really successful and was receiving multiple orders a day I completely lost the desire to do it anymore. The orders became so repetitive and the pressure of time and customers wanting more was just too much and I started hating it. After all it was only me in that whole company and I did everything from webdesign, jewelry design, manufacturing, packaging, PR to the stupid accounting. I just had enough at one point and closed it down in the beginning of January. The website and company still exist, I just closed down the shop for now. I'm not sure if I want to continue it. I'm still rethinking, organizing my thoughts, maybe even trying to come up with a new concept.

I have finally figured out though, that I need to be doing something creative in my life. And something that will be my very own, either my own business, my own art, whatever. Working for someone else just sucks. I know now! But it pays the bills and it's secure. I know I will always get my paycheck every second week and that's very comforting. Having your own business and having to depend on it to pay your bills is risky, nervwrecking and frustrating.

So, I'll see what I'll do in the near future. For now I enjoy having a simple job and simple life. No stress, no real responsibility, ... For now it's suiting me well, but I don't know how it'll fit in a few years.

I'm thinking.